I burnt the bridges. I didn’t know how much it would hurt. I didn’t know I would never forget. I didn’t know I would never let go. I stand on the other side of the broken bridge. A part of me still stands there. But it hurt so much to hold on. It hurt a lot to stand there. I underestimated the repercussions of that decision. That I would have to follow through with it every day.
Every time I see you, it creates a pit in my stomach. I carry it around the whole day. I can’t distract myself anymore. I am glad that you are not as active on social media as others. I get to escape you every now and then because of it. I am glad I stay so far away from you; I never have to worry running into you again. But there is also that other side to it. Now I know I will never be able to go back to you. Now I know we will never make up. Maybe… it is a good thing.
I am not sorry I did it. But I am still hurt. You did say you didn’t want me around. To my face. How does it matter what words you used. Maybe… I was oversensitive but you said it. To my face. So I decided to make a clean break. I decided to end it first. I still have my pride. It wasn’t as clean of a break as I had imagined. You still linger around in the back of my head, ready to pounce on and dampen my day. You have no idea. You really have no idea.
Memoirs of a Dreamer 