forgetting to forget you

It was by chance… I saw you. I have been trying to stay as far away from you as possible, taking every precaution necessary. So when it happened… I felt this strange pinch in my heart. And it felt like I couldn’t take my eyes off of you even if I tried. Almost like, I wanted to keep looking at you so I could feel all that pain again. Almost like a masochist.
I know that we are over. And everybody keeps advising me to stop dragging a relationship beyond its normal course of time. Like our relationship had an expiration date. And I know it was right to give up finally. But strangely when ever these chances occur, when I end up seeing you, right doesn’t feel that right.
I really had no idea we would end up like this. I know you are not the one to mourn the loss of someone for long. And I guess that is an advantage, to have that capacity to move on no matter what. I wish I would just get on with it too. It’s so tiresome to be careful and purposely try not to go places where past might come chasing after me. It’s no fun being on guard. You have no idea how frustrated I am with myself. I just… I wish I could just forget that I have to forget you.

Advertisements

My Obituary

A Holistic Journey

When she was young, she lived on her last dollar and books and dreams.
She worked as though her life depended on it.

She watched and smiled, said yes I’ll marry you.
She died and birthed her boy.

She played her heart on that piano and her husband heard
and loved her again.

She questioned, ate disbelief. She wept.
She prayed and prayed. She received.

She slow danced with ideas

She was frail, a leaf the wind turned over, and
a rock you couldn’t move in her convictions.

She sang blues and hymns and dreams.
She struggled to get off ground some days, and
wrote her way into the clouds, drank their rain.

She asked God for one more day because she erred, wounded, and grieved.
She loved deeply. She didn’t love enough.

She hoped her lifewas enough.

Comments all yours if you’d like to write your own here.

View original post