my eye

i look at myself in the mirror and I don’t like what I see in me
this insecure, confused bundle of emotions running my life
how did it happen that I turned into this person
someone I always thought I would never be…

♥ truelovejunkie ♥

I dont like what i see
When i look at myself straight in the eye
The fear and the uncertainty
Is something that i so defy.

For everything that i would give
Only to be able to re live
The life and zest that sparkled
and radiates to behold.

Fear is foreign to me
I loathe the days when i see
Fear masked with security
Creeping out of the black circle
Emptied and hallow unacceptable.

I worked so hard to be so fearless
And made sure i am to be harmless
But when things spiral down i recall
I cannot always be in full control.

So i sink back in and try to sulk
Drown all my sorrows and evoke
All the good possibilities i can hope.

For somewhere deep inside i know.
There is light behind each shadow
That i will come across today
This may or may never…

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memoirs of a dreamer…


dear you,

so I heard him say… “the more people we have in our life… the more number of times we get divided among those people”

does it mean that every time I meet someone and form a relationship with that person, I leave a little bit of myself with that person?? wouldn’t that leave very little of me with myself?? could it happen that having all those relationship has made me lose myself among them… 

my thinking up until now had been, every time I meet someone new and create a relationship with that person, a new me was created who was exactly like what that person expected me to be… isn’t there a saying that says we respond to people’s perception of us… kind of like having multiple personalities to suit different people in my life.

confused as always… what with all the time traveling and parallel universe fantasies I’ve been hearing about… lost as usual with too many thought running inside my head and my boyfriend telling me I live in an imaginary world… I like being like this.. certain arrogance in being considered one of the artsy types… LOL!! but sometimes the loneliness becomes too much to handle… and I’m not talking about being alone physically rather mentally… the world is too big and I can’t help thinking that somewhere someone must be going through the same things as me.. feeling the same loneliness and whispering the same prayers to the sky… can it be possible that, that someone at this moment in time might be thinking about finding me too…