Through the looking glass

“you can love someone so much, he thought. But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.” – Colin, An abundance of Katherine.

Another special day. Ahh these memories… the way we hold on to it, even when we don’t want to. What would I be without them… I find my past self so naive, so self absorbed, so abundantly ​unashamed in sharing my soul, so unworldly. Lol.

I remember moments of that past, bits and pieces of that love. Never the whole thing, like remembering a dish I had eaten at a small restaurant in my hometown. The taste of it so delicious. But only in my memories. Like moments of Sunshine in a cold winter morning, bringing in flashbacks of summer days. Only strong enough to warm the memories.

Your memories sneaking out through my eyes. I lose you a little each time. Bittersweet as it is… I wish I could relive it one more time. That youthfulness and carefree days, I wish I could have a go at it again just so I could truly appreciate the experience.

I would know how further in the future our decisions​ follow us. However much you try to forget, regret has a way of leaving you hollowed.

The memory of that phone call. What proof do I have that it ever took place at all.. only a few lines written on a post lost in the jungle of information that is internet.


When someone listens to you

I sometimes miss our conversation… That subtle flirting, the deep thought provoking ideas, the naïve notions of how the world worked, not being able to explain what you meant to me. There was a lot of mixed feelings at that point in time. I might have had a crush on your mind. Intellect has always been attractive to me.

Although I am not as enamored as I was once upon a time, I sometimes look back and see how you influenced me. I think I may have become better because of you. I wish every young adult gets a companion like you, however short that companionship might be. You opened me up to so many different views of the world. Because of you, my horizon expanded. Well, maybe not only you. I always was a bookworm. But you did make me ponder upon the idea of this world more, to speak out what was in my mind. Put words to the imagination in my head. After all these years, I still can’t put a finger on what our relationship was. I do know I am going to always try to be better because of what you taught me to be by being an example yourself. Now I know how much we need each other to listen to us. To question us. To make us explore the ignored. I am grateful for those conversations. You are where you need to be.
Thankyou for making me aware that no one can be classified into a stereotype created by the society. That everyone is an individual. Different from what you expect them to be at the first meet. Multifaceted individuals who will one day run the world. Thankyou for treating me like an adult when I was bent on acting like a child. For showing me that I had more potential than I had ever expected out of myself. Thankyou for listening, for pushing me into directions, I never would have gone otherwise. Thankyou for that.