silent communication

I am learning from the best. Whatever he does I follow. I must tell though, that it took me some time to get used to the tactics he used to teach me. But once I learned that it was his way of letting me know what he wanted, I have never stopped learning. We hardly use words to communicate. He has taught me a better way. It’s said – “actions speak louder than words.” and I for once appreciate the true wisdom of these words. I have learnt that no matter what I say, it won’t matter much unless I prove it with my deeds. My actions speak much louder than my words ever will. I understand that I am different and not everyone understands appreciates or even knows how much I go through. I thought keeping it all inside would help me from being judged. But the truth is, because of it I was judged even harder. I heard all sorts of comments passed, snide remarks made, sarcasm shown in ways so obvious that I felt like catching hold of their necks and dragging them out of their rhino-thick skins. I felt like shouting – “just coz I don’t come back with a witty retort to your stupid remarks, doesn’t mean I don’t understand when you are insulting me with your pathetic sarcasm. Just because I am not as loud as you people doesn’t mean I am not smart. Just coz I don’t like displaying my feeling to the whole wide world doesn’t mean I don’t have any. Why don’t you leave me alone and get on with your own f***ing life!!!” I was so pissed off with everyone that I forgot to appreciate the good things in life. I felt lost and started losing my belief in God. I think it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I think it’s the worst thing that can happen to anyone. Losing my faith was a tough blow… but because I have so many good people in my life, whom I had never acknowledged or taken time to appreciate, I was saved just in time. I don’t know how everything would have turned out if I didn’t have all those people around me to save me. He is one of them. His ways might be different but he has also let me experience a few unique sides of life. And because he is so different I think I gained a whole lot different perspective of the world and my emotions.

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