It was a good day. I was smiling; I was happy maybe. I saw him from afar… the way I always do, as though my eyes are always searching for him, even in a crowd. And my heart fluttered as it always does, whenever it sees him… but everything was different this time. I controlled myself and as I crossed him, I saw in his eyes the complete indifference of someone you have never known. It hurt my heart to see the complete lack of recognition, but I didn’t let my smile drop. After all, I told myself, he was no longer the center of my universe. I couldn’t give him so much power over me, over my life, over my thoughts. He didn’t want to be a part of it anymore.
In those split seconds when my eyes met his, I saw in him the cruel side he had always talked about, but which I had always refused to believe in. Someone so caring could never be such a cold hearted person; someone who could make me feel like I was the only girl in the world could not possibly be so hard hearted. No one was such a good actor I thought… until I saw him leave without even a second glance.
I wondered how someone could walk away from so much love so easily. It couldn’t all have been a pretend. He must have loved me too at some point. He must have felt the need to be together at some point, he must have wanted to hold my hands sometimes too.
Then how was it that I was never able to sense the darkness in him, even when he warned me not to get too close to him…