The real me… lost and found

Been so crazy for so long to believe in happy go lucky mantra, fell in love with it the first time I heard it and decided to follow it ever since, and don’t intend to stop just because a pissed off fellow tells me to, because I’ve never hurt people intentionally, asked forgiveness every time i felt i did someone wrong and meant it…

Forgave people who hurt me;of course with time, but completely. the shadows of past never dulled the happiness of meeting the people him/herself who caused the unhappiness… How many of you can tell honestly that you prayed for the people who hurt you? I do, every time my heart reeks with the betrayal of a dear one. whether the incident happened in the past or present…

Now, my relation is with god not with those who hurt me. but still, here i am justifying my actions to find love and acceptance in the heart of haters, can i care more?? perhaps i should care less.. because it hurts so much…

I may not have many real friends in life but those that i do i treasure them like diamonds. Perhaps some try to come close too, like i do, but i fail to notice their efforts like some fail to notice mine, them, I never hold a grudge against, after all we are all human and have our own preferences and hence hope for the same from those that get ignored by me. Forgive me for i am a bit of a loner not by choice but by nature. love the company of nature more and love to reflect, so… it happens . .

Always heard no matter how great a person is they always have someone who will hate them for some reason.. never wanted to believe it. call it self pity or self praise but yes i believe it now. After the many stabs of friends that cover my soul and all i felt was betrayal. I don’t expect all of you to understand how much it pains me to loose a friend or gain an enemy, but I do hope that those I hold close to my heart will at least attempt to understand. . . I hold no ill will for anyone. But if anyone does i can only pray. If they wish, they can always tell me and we can work on in together. But now i have grown wise and have decided to drop out now all those that just pretend to be with me and hold on only to those that are really there for me. I can’t keep sinking into lemons and complain its sour, I need to drop them so i can hold the apples more dearly…

I am the kind of person who would cry for a total strangers loss and help them if I could. this I believe is my humanity. Laugh if you want, cause I believe in humanity. If you don’t care it still doesn’t equate to no one cares. Someone always will, and that will be my solace…

Mock me if you want. but this is me all bared.


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